I’m pretty much Batman.

Last night I felt like I was Batman.

Last night, a girl at a pub I was sitting in had her purse stolen. She was fairly sure she knew who took it and had people telling her they saw him do so. As that other individual (the purse snatcher) fled, she confronted him just outside. He denied having her purse.

Distraught, she went back in to call the police. In the meantime, he disappeared.

I happened to be leaving at this point so I went out and started towards my ride. Just as I was about to get in the vehicle, I noticed a parking structure across the street. It’s sheltered from the wind and I’d assume it’s a great place to rummage through stolen purses and wallets.

I go in and find the snatcher in there. He’s in a back corner, going through his ill-gotten loot.

I ask him very clearly, “Did you take that girl’s purse?” He flat-out denies. Rinse and repeat a few times.

I go back to the bar quickly and alert the girl and her group to the snatcher’s location. They follow me back to the structure. The whole time she’s on the phone with the police who are now on their way.

There were some men and women in their group. The men (and the lady victim) confront the snatcher who CONTINUES to deny any wrong-doing until the girl notices her purse hanging out of snatcher’s bike-messenger-style satchel. He claims to not know how that got in there.

Turns out, it’s empty.

She demands to know where the contents have gone. He then switches from “I didn’t take nothin’,” to, “I don’t got nothin’ on me.”

Clearly, this guy wasn’t burdened with any discernable higher education. His English would make several teachers I know cringe.

So one of the other gentlemen that had accompanied the lady jumps over the wall the snatcher is standing beside where he finds all the contents of the lady’s purse. All the while, I’m blocking the snatcher’s escape route from the corner in which he had hidden.

Trying to stall this idiot, I tell the snatcher, who is not wearing gloves, “Your fingerprints are all over it, they caught you on camera at the pub taking the purse, and 7 witnesses are going to corroborate.” Snatcher defiantly states that because none of the property is on his immediate person, he was free and clear.

Actually, what he said was “I don’t have any of it, f***ing numb-nuts!”

Yeah… I’m the numb-nuts.

So the cops arrive in a damn hurry. It was fast. Like, stupid fast.

Let me tell you something. After what I saw happen next, I will never, EVER commit a crime in this city. The Winnipeg Police Service DOES NOT PLAY.

The police, in what seemed like fast forward, swooped in with tasers drawn and arrested the snatcher. It was not gentle, by any stretch of the imagination. Made worse by the fact that the snatcher resisted a bit and kept yelling “I don’t have anything on me!” as if that was going to be his saving grace.

It was swift, aggressive, and pretty hilarious from where I was standing. Hilarious because at this point, this moron STILL THINKS HE’S GETTING AWAY WITH IT.

As this is happening, not one, but two black police SUVs (I’m not sure of their unit’s name, but it’s Winnipeg’s equivalent to Toronto’s SRU, or “Strategic Response Unit” — so essentially “SWAT light”) show up from INSIDE the parking structure. They were already in the building and the marked car got there first. That’s how fast their response time was.

After I gave my info and statement, I left for home. Bed and sleep were calling.

All of this happened in about a ten-minute span. The Police in Winnipeg are not f***ing around. They came with a purpose, and at 2am in downtown Winnipeg, I guess that makes sense.

Citizen justice made me so tired and had me sleeping like a baby! What a night.

Stay safe, everyone.